


Break

by AmaraBliss



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash (TV 2014) RPF, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Heartache, Love, Other, PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7557850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaraBliss/pseuds/AmaraBliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You haven't seen Barry Allen for years and when you see him a the precinct it was all coming back to your fast. A string of events gets you grounded in Central City and left in Barry's care. Will you fall into each other's arms again? Or will you find something keeping you apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You let you head hang as the man finished tying you back to the chair, “You’re making this harder on yourself girlie…”

“…Harder…this is nothing.” You told him spitting some blood out of your mouth, “Try to be a girl in high school that’s hard…”

The man looked at you shaking his head, “Just give me…the damn…code.”

You looked at him one eye swollen shut from the three days you’d been here. You worked as an independent contractor protecting certain individuals. The codes this man talked about would get him into any protected suite, “You’ll have to kill me.”

“The human body can only stand so much…I will break you.” He pulled up a cart with a battery attached to it.

“You will try.” You told him as you began to prepare yourself for the pain. 

There was a technique that you were taught before going into this line a work. If you were ever caught and you knew you might be close to breaking you would lose to lose yourself in a fantasy.

As you felt the first jolt you let out a scream. You saw the blinding flash behind your eyes being swept away.

_“Babe, where did you put our silverware?” You shouted shuffling around boxes, “Babe!”_

_“In the box labeled kitchen cups.” You looked over at Barry walking in with a couple of boxes, “Just like you told me…I wrapped them in newspaper and put them inside of the cups…”_

_He set them down walking toward you. You smiled at him when his hands found your waist, “What are you doing Mr. Allen?”_

_“I don’t know Mrs. Allen…what should I be doing?” He smirked leaning down kissing you neck, “I need directions…”_

“Y/N…wake up…Hey look at me!” Your eyes slowly opened seeing lots of red, “There you are…”

You coughed violently as you stared at the Flash easing you to the floor, “…the man…”

“He’s…tied up…don’t worry about it.” He told you, “I’m gonna get you help.”

“I…I need you to do something…” You closed your eyes grabbing his arm tightly, “I…used to live here…”

“Don’t talk…” 

“Flash…” You looked at him seeing the hard truth in his eyes, “I need…you to find my best friend…Barry Allen…and tell him…”

“Stop…” He shook his head pulling the mask back, “Stop…”

You stared up at Barry and smiled, “…hi…”

“You have to wait to tell me…” He smiled at you tearing up, “You waited fours years…you can wait a little longer.”

“Barry…” You reached up touching his face taking a deep breath, “I saw you at the precinct…and I fell all over again. Every time I see you…I fall…so deep…”

“Y/N, just hold on. Help is on the way.” He put his hand over yours.

“…I love…you…” You told him coughing more.

“No…this isn’t happening like this…” He pulled the mask back on, “Hold on.”

You felt him lift you up into his arms crying out. You knew it was bad, “Barry, stop…you have to save my client…”

“I can do both…I can…” You put a hand to his mouth stopping him.

“He is a foreign diplomat…here for peace talks with another diplomat…” You were losing focus in his eyes, “He is at the Lake Wood Estates…the code to get in is 4421398…he needs to live…”

He shook his head, “I’m not leaving you…”

“I love you…and I’m asking you to do this for me…help is on the way…” You told him, “I’ll hold on.”

His eyes held so much conflict, “…you have to…we have more talk about.”

He set you down near the wall. You did your best to not show how much pain your were in. He brushed your hair from your face as you smiled, “Go…be the hero.” 

You watched him Flash away like you heard he did. You shut your eyes a tear going down your cheek. Something else you job taught you was how to lie…


	2. Break Part - 2

FIVE DAYS EARLIER

You stood in the middle of the Central City Police Department. You sighed heavily staring at the large golden piece of art. It had been six years since you’d been home and you never had fond memories of CCPD. 

“Commander.” You looked over at a tall black man walking toward you, “I’m Detective Joe West.”

You smiled you took his outstretched hand, “Joe…come on it hasn’t been that long…”

His grip was firm as he stared at you for moment his eyes widening, “Oh my goodness, Y/N…Y/N L/N!”

He pulled you into a secure hug, when he let you go your hands went back into your pockets, “How’ve you been. Joe?”

“Eh…you know hanging in there. This last year has been rough with Barry’s accident.” He watched your expression carefully. A questioning look fell across your features, “You didn’t know?”

“I’ve been out of reach the last couple years.” You told him, “Out of the country and I haven’t had a chance to reconnect.”

His fatherly look came across his face, “You know what getting too deep into your work will do…You know what it did to your parents.”

“Yeah, well, I had to learn it from someone.” You smiled a little breaking the tension that was building, “Anyways, you didn’t just walk out here to catch up…”

“Right, the chief is ready to talk to you.” He turned walking toward the bull pen, “How did you get into contracting?”

“After I got out of high school I joined the Navy…things just fell into place you could say.” You told him glancing around. Your training and your work kept your on edge, “You meet the right people…do the right thing…”

“And apparently become very vague.” He raised an eye brow holding the door open for you.

“Yup.” You winked at him walking into the chief’s office. It was a courteous gesture when you worked in a city to give the police a heads up, just in case things went sideways. 

Joe stared at you in the office explaining everything. The last time he saw you were still a senior in high school and you were being arrested. Time really does change thing.

“Hey Joe!” Barry ran into the office with a smile on his face. Joe looked at him and Barry’s smile fell a little, “Whoa…what’s going on?”

“Well…see for yourself.” Joe pointed toward you walking out of the office.

Barry turned as you finished a talking with the chief. His mouth dropped open a little, “…Y/N?”

You looked over at him feeling your heart rate pick up. No matter how much training you go through, nothing prepares you for when you see the one that got away, “Barry.”

“Wow…” The pair of you walked toward each other neither of you able to take your eyes off each other, “Wow…”

“You look good.” You finally said staring into his eyes.

“Yeah…you too.” He nodded and began to get flustered, “Not that you weren’t good looking before…you’re always…were…Uh…”

You smiled at him putting a hand on his arm, “Thank you.”

“What are you doing here? You said you were never coming back to Central City.” Was that bitterness with a dash of resentment in his voice?

“A job…first one back state side. They needed someone who knew the city. Lucky me.” You told him.

“Ah…right…” He nodded slowly the conversation disappearing.

“Uh…you know I could use a tour guide though.” You watched his eyebrows shoot up, “Six years is a long time and things have changed. Maybe we can grab some coffee…”

He smiled blushing a little, “Yeah…alright. I get off work in a few hours.”

“You get off work now, Mr. Allen.” The chief said walking past and turned pointing at him, “We help our friends, so help her out.”

“Yes sir…” Barry looked at you when he was gone, “You certainly made an impression on him.”

“All part of the job.” You looked at him winking, “I’ll tell you about as you show me around.”

“Let me go grab my coat, I’ll meet you by the elevators.” He said walking out of the bull pen. You smiled as he bumped into the door frame. Still the same Barry.

PRESENT

Barry ran into the hospital asking for any information on you. The nurse looked at him eyes wide, “She’s in surgery…”

“Is…is she going to be okay?” Barry looked at her.

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t say.” She told him obviously having a difficult time watching his face.

“I…I’m with CCPD…” he fumbled and pulled out his badge, “We’re working with her…”

She looked at his badge and sighed, “Give me a moment.”

Barry put his hands on his head and turned from her as she got onto the phone. This wasn’t happening. He’d just gotten you back, he couldn’t let you go. Not like this.

“Sir…” Another nurse walked over to him, “You’re inquiring about the woman found at the factory, yes?”

“Yes, is she going to be okay?” Barry looked at him.

“She suffered a lot of internal damage…” The nurse told him, “The doctors are working and we just have to wait. Let me take you to the waiting room where you’ll receive updates.”

Barry followed him slowly. He should’ve just brought you to the hospital. He’d barely made it to your client, sure, but you were his friend…more then that maybe… and now he might be losing you forever…


	3. Break  - Part 3

PRESENT  
Barry walked into the room they told you were in. You laid there hooked up to three or machines, he couldn’t really tell in his emotional state.

He went over taking your hand tearing up, “Y/N…”

“We have her in a medically induced coma. We’ll keep her that way for a few days so she can heal.” The doctor told him, “It’s going to be touch and go for a little while.”

“Will she recover?” Barry looked at him. The doctor didn’t answer right away, “Is there a chance?”

“There’s always a chance Mr. Allen, but it’s going to depend on how much she wants to fight for it.” The doctor frowned, “I’ve been given authority by her superiors to do whatever it takes.”

Barry nodded looking back to you, “Can I stay?”

“Of course, if her family shows up however…” 

“They won’t…they died…” Barry sat down settling in for a long night, “And her Aunt past away a couple years ago…”

Seven Years Ago

“Dr. Wells is going to revolutionize how we think about the world. He’s going to change everything, I just know it.” You listened to Barry talk as you drove him around.

“Okay, whatever you say. I trust your judgement on that,” You told him, “But I’m telling you…there’s this thing in his eyes…gives me the heebeejeebees…”

“Fine…” He smiled at you as you parked, “I guess that sounds reasonable. Maybe he had an off day when you saw.”

“That is a reasonable explination.” You told him as you got out of your car walking toward your house with him. You shut the door watching Barry take off his shoes, “Mom! Dad! Barry and I are going to my room to study! Is it okay if he stays for dinner!?”

“Why can’t you ever just go find them instead of shouting?” You looked at him smiling at you. You could stare at the smile for days and still enjoy it.

“Because I like being a little rebellious from time to time…this just happens to be that time every time.” You told him, “Head up to my room, I’m gonna see what they’re up to.”

“Right.” He started up the stairs, “Can I have glass of water?”

“I’m not your maid!” You glared at him, but again saw that damnable smile, “But I suppose…”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He ran up the rest of the stairs.

You rolled your eyes walking into the kitchen not seeing anyone there, “Huh…”

You got Barry’s water and walked into your father’s office. You frowned seeing the window open, something that was so unlike your father to do. You walked over and shut the window locking it.

You walked into your room handing the water to Barry. He took it as you sat on the bed, “Is it okay if I stay?”

“They’re not home.” You told him pulling your notebook out of your bag.

Barry looked at you, “Is everything okay?”

You looked at him and smiled, “Yeah, I’m sure they just went to the grocery store or something.”

He nodded and reassured you as you both opened your books. You struggled with math and Barry was a genius it seemed. You didn’t struggle so much that you really needed a tutor, but you liked Barry. Like, liked liked him, and no matter what you did to catch his attention he didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh my god my eyes are going to fall out if I keep looking at this book.” You shut your eyes and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“It’s not that bad…” he looked at you, “You just have to find the average of the data set, X.”

“Oh yeah… cause with all these square roots and divisions…it’s easy.” You told him sarcastically looking up into his eyes. You blushed as he smiled and stared into your eyes, “Uh…”

His twinkled at you, “What?”

“Nothing…” You sat up taking your head from his shoulder, “Sorry…I should focus…”

“Breaks are good for the mind. Sometimes it helps you focus better.” His hand fell on yours.

You looked down at your hands then to his face, “Barry…”

“I’m not stupid, Y/N…you get Bs on your test. You don’t need help.” He smiled at you, “I like coming over and being around you.”

You blushed and smiled, “Well…I didn’t think you were getting my hints…”

“Oh I got them…” He laughed, “Believe me, I got them.”

“Then…what do we do…now?” Your hand flipped over and you laced your fingers with him.

“Well…” He smiled leaning toward your face, “I’d like to come over more often…without statistics.”

You licked your lips as you felt his hot breath on your lips. You braced yourself for the kiss that was sure to come.

DING DONG

Your eyes sprung open and you both pulled away from one another, “I…should…”

“Yeah…” He nodded watching your get up as he ran a hand through his hair.

You took a deep breath as you ran down the stars. You stopped just outside of the door seeing red and blue flashers. You opened the door seeing Officer Joe, “Uh…are you here for, Barry, Mr. West? I can go get him.”

Joe took a deep breath looking up at the top of the stairs seeing Barry, “No…I’m not here for Barry, Y/N. I’m here to take you to the station.”

You looked at him surprised, “Why?”

“Everything will be explained there, but I need you to come with me.” He told you and looked up at Barry, “Son, you need to get your things and go home.”

“Joe?” Barry walked down looking at him, “What happened?”

You looked at Barry then to Joe, your heart going to your throat, “Did…did something happen to my parents?”

Joe sighed, “Please grab your things Barry…You too Y/N.”

You sighed reaching over for your coat as Barry ran up stairs. You could feel the tears coming already. They didn’t just come and collect you if it wasn’t something bad.

“Joe…” Barry came down with his bag, “I want to come…I won’t get in the way…but…”

“Barry…” Joe started to protest.

“Officer West…” They both looked at you, “I wouldn’t mind having a friend nearby…if it’s okay…”

Joe sighed and nodded, “Alright.”

He loaded you both up in the back of his squad car and drove you to the station. You felt Barry take your hand as you stared out the window. You were glad he was here, he knew this feeling you were sure of it.

You barely remembered walking into the station, just that you were sat facing that awful golden wall. Joe had asked Barry to sit outside until they were done talking to you. You kept seeing him glance over at you. Finally Joe came back to you.

“Y/N…something did happen…” You watched his mouth move catching words like, parents…murdered…suspects caught, “Y/N?”

“They’re dead?” You looked at him blankly, “…I have to go…I…I need to call them.”

“Y/N…” He stood up with you, “I’m so sorry…”

“No…” You shook your head tears coming to your eyes, “No, I need to call them. They’re going to be worried…they need…they need to know where I’m at…”

“Your Aunt is on the way…we didn’t know if they were going to come to the house. She’s going to meet us here, you have to wait.” Joe told you, “Your Aunt is going to identify the bodies…”

You shook your head, “No…no, they can’t …I just saw them this morning.”

Joe took you into his arms as you broke down crying. That was the night everything changed. Your Aunt did come and take guardianship of you. She didn’t have children, so she moved into your home.

Barry tried to visit, but you didn’t really want to see anyone. He tried to talk to you at school, but even there you didn’t want to be around anyone. You pushed everyone out, tested out earlier and ran never looking back.

PRESENT

The heart monitor was what you heard first as your blurry vision started to focus. You looked over at Barry sleeping. You tried to speak but couldn’t.

You reached up feeling the breathing tube. You made a disgruntled noise as you reached for the pager on the bed remote. You sat there staring at the ceiling until a nurse came in.

Barry woke up when the nurse started talking, “There you are sweetie. Just try to relax, I can’t get that out until the doctor approves it. Just wait.”

Barry looked at you and stood up as the nurse left, “Y/N, I was so worried…”

You stared at him and recoiled your hand when he tried to take it. He looked into your eyes finding confusion and fear. When the doctor came in Barry stepped out to let them work. He’d been there for three days. This was not how he expected you waking up.

A few hours later he was allowed back inside. The doctor was surprised by your recovery rate, but you still had a long way to go. You looked over at him in the doorway. He smiled, “Hi…”

“…hi…” He didn’t like how you were looking at him. Something wasn’t right.

“I didn’t mean to scare you earlier.” He stepped inside slowly, “I just…I was so worried…and seeing you awake. I was happy.”

“You…you know who I am?” His eyes widened, “The doctors said I might remember slowly…I had a head trauma, but you know me?”

“Y-yeah.” He nodded, “My name is Barry…we grew up together.”

“Oh…” You nodded slowly, “Thank you for being here…uh…”  
He watched you struggle with his name the pain in his chest growing. He’d just gotten you back, lost you, saved you and now he’s felt like he lost you completely, “It's...Barry…”


	4. Break - Part 4

You stood looking out the window of the hospital. There was the feeling that you’d knew the skyline, but at the same time it wasn’t familiar at all.

“Hey…” You looked back at Barry. He had such a kind smile and gentle eyes, “I brought some coffee and some lunch…figured you might need a break from the prison food.”

You smiled at him hobbling over to the bed sitting down slowly. You weren’t supposed to be moving much, but you couldn’t seem to sit still since you were allowed to get up, “Thanks Barry, but it’s actually not that bad.”

“Then you really have lost your mind.” He winked as he started pulling out a couple sandwiches, “So…”

You looked at him, “The doctor said I’m doing fine, better then fine actually…aside from not remembering. I was apparently lucky that I didn’t have any broken bones. As for my memory, he said to give it more time and being with you might help.”

“Well I’m glad I can help. I’ll do whatever it takes.” He told you handing you a sandwich, “Maybe starting with what you last ate with me? I was talking to my friend Caitlin, she suggested it might help.”

You took it opening it up, “Turkey on wheat…”

“No onion, just lettuce and tomato.” He smiled pulling up at chair holding out a cup to you, “And a hot chocolate.”

“Hot chocolate…I have really weird taste.” You smiled at him watching him open his sandwich, “I’m not subjecting you to eat the same day over am I?”

He laughed, “I did get the same thing, but I like it. I always get it when I go there.”

“Right…good.” You nodded as you both ate for awhile in silence. Finally you looked at him, “Uh…my partner came by earlier…”

“Your…who?” Barry looked at you.

“My partner, Tanner? We worked together for the government.” You played with a napkin, “He said he couldn’t say much, just that he was sorry he didn’t come earlier and that he needed to give me these…”

Barry watched you reach over for a folder and hand it to him. He flipped it open, “These are…orders?”

You nodded, “I guess they’re going to take care of everything, and they released me from work until I remember…as soon as I do I am ordered to follow the instructions.”

Barry frowned reading over the instructions, “They want you to just pack up and go back to Washington, but what if…”

“Yeah…I asked that too.” You looked at him before looking back to the sandwich, “If I don’t remember, because of the sensitive material I dealt with, I have to check in and essentially be interrogated monthly.”

Barry looked at you shutting the folder. He smiled leaning forward in the chair, “I see…well…forget about that. We’re just going to focus on you.”

You looked at him and smiled, “Thanks, Barry.”

He smiled reaching over taking your hand in his, “You can’t get rid of me this easily.”

“Which…brings me to the next thing…” You squeezed his hand, “I get released tomorrow…but when I asked where I go, they just said home. I think…I think they forgot…that I don’t…know where that is.”

He frowned watching you tear up. He knew this was hard for you and the last few days had been up and down. One minute you were fine until you just couldn’t make the connections and you tried so hard to do so that you broke.

“Y/N, you can stay with me. I’ll take some time off of work and we’ll figure it out.” He told you confidently, “I promise.”

You wiped a tear from your face as you smiled, “You’re a really good friend, Barry.”

“Nah…I’m just an average friend, who’s consistently late…has no excuses…get’s his dad in trouble at work…wow…I suck actually.” He made a face but as he heard your laughter he smiled again.

“I highly doubt you suck.” You told him, “In fact, I can just tell that you don’t. You don’t have the face for it.”

“What does that mean?” He asked wiping his hands off with a napkin.

“It means that I trust you, Barry.” You looked him the eyes smiling, “I trust you and I can’t really explain why. I just know you’re going to be there when I need you.”

His grin got bigger as he felt his ears get hot, “Well, I will be. You call I’ll come running.”

Like on cue his phone started to go off. He pulled it out and frowned, “I’m sorry, I have to take this.”

“It’s okay, go.” You watched him get up and leave glancing back just as he bumped into the door frame. You got flash of him wearing a red shirt doing the same thing.

Then he was gone as your heart was left fluttering. You took a deep breath as you looked at your half eaten sandwich. You got a brief feeling that there was more between you and Barry then just friendship.

TWO WEEKS AGO

You looked at Barry smiling as he brought over the the food, “One turkey on wheat, no onion, just lettuce and tomato, and a hot chocolate.”

“Thank you kind sir.” You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he moved, “You’ve changed, Barry Allen.”

“Yeah, I guess I have.” He nodded, “A lots changed since my accident, for the better though.”

“Yeah, Joe mentioned something. What happened?” You listened as he told you how he was struck by lighting and woke up almost a year later, “Wow, that’s quite a story.”

“Yeah, but because of it I’ve made some great friends.” You could see in his eyes that he’d lost a lot too. You knew the look.

“That’s good.” You smiled at him, “You know in high school I would’ve done anything to be in a situation like this right now.”

“Oh yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, “You mean lunch with me? We ate lunch together every day.”

“I mean alone on a date, not that this is a date, but…” You smirked, “In my line of work you learn to voice what you’re thinking and I regret not ever seeing what could’ve been between us.”

He listened as you leaned forward continuing, “I might just have to stick around after this job and amend that.”

His face hot instantly as he smiled a little, “I’d like that. I'd really like that.”


	5. Break Part - 5

You walked up the steps to Barry’s home slowly. You smiled as he fumbled with the door, “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need. Joe said he didn’t mind at all and Iris is happy to let you use her room.”

“Well I appreciate it.” He looked at you as you walked inside, “I’m not sure I want to be alone right now.”

“Right, of course.” He shut the door and showed you to your room and gave you a small tour. “This is the bathroom and this right here is my room.”

You smiled and peeked your head inside nodding, “Nice. Very homey.”

“We try.” His eyes twinkled at you, “Are you hungry? I could you show the kitchen and I can pull out some pictures…I mean if you want. I feel like I’m being pushy…”

“No, that sounds great.” You told him putting a hand on his arm as you moved past him, “I appreciate everything you’re doing.”

“After you then.” He held his arm out letting you go down the stairs first.

“Such a gentleman.” You told him as you hand hit the banister. You saw a flash in front of your eyes.

You were laughing holding onto something. A voice called after you, “Give it back!”

“Only if you catch me!” You looked back at 14 year old Barry. It was just enough of a distraction that your foot caught the edge of the carpet and sent you tumbling down the stairs.

“Y/N?” You blinked and looked at Barry holding you up, “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I fell down the stairs.” You looked at him.

“No I caught you before…”

“Not now…before…” You stared at him as a headache started to come on, “I was running from you…I tripped and tried stopping myself on the banister…but I fell anyways…”

He watched you tear up, but he smiled a little, “Yeah…yes. You did, you remember that?”

You nodded slowy, “It’s not the first thing…”

“You’ve remembered something else?” Barry looked at you surprised, “What was it?”

You swallowed before looking him in the eye, “You.”

“Me?” His eyebrows went up, “…what exactly did you remember?”

“It was a just a flash…you ran into the door at the hospital and then you were someplace else doing the same thing…” Your face flushed, “I got the feeling that there was something between us.”

It was his turn to swallow as he helped sit you up from his arms, “Well...Not…really…”

“What does that mean?” You watched him look away from you, “Barry…I didn’t need a memory to get that feeling.”

He sighed and looked at you finally, “We hadn’t seen each other for close to seven years, we had something back then, but we never got a chance to explore it…but the flirtations…the magnetism between us when you showed up at the precinct was really intense.” 

“But then…whatever happened, happened to me… and now we’re here.” You finished looking down the stairs, “Wow.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I wanted to say something, but I wasn’t sure if I should…and…” He started to ramble.

You looked at him as he used his hands to explain. It was cute. So you did what felt natural and leaned over kissing him. You felt his movements stop and his hands fall to your arms as his mouth moved against yours. Finally you pulled away and smiled at his raised eyebrows. You could definitely do that again.

“Wow…” He blinked clearing his throat, “I…”

“Apparently we’ve waited a long time for that…I can feel something between us, and I don’t want to not remember something like that.” You told him, “I hope that’s okay.”

He nodded his head up and down, “Y-yeah. Totally acceptable.”

“Good…I think you were going to show me the kitchen.” He nodded still and took your hands helping you up. You didn’t want to lose anymore time, you already lost a life time even if it was coming back slowly. You smiled when his fingers laced with yours.

The rest of the day went by quickly. You received a phone call from your employer about your things, “Okay…thank you…yes that will be fine. I don’t intend on going anywhere for a while. Of course if I remember something I’ll let you know. Thank you…”

Barry watched you hang up the phone sighing and patted the couch next to him, “Anything important?”

You sighed sitting down next to him, “They are sending over a guy with my things…apparently I had a couple bags with me when I arrived.”

“Well that’s good news then. Right?” He could see the look concerned look on your face.

“Yeah, of course it is…” You looked at him nodding.

“But…” He frowned turning to you more. You liked that he gave you his undivided attention.

“But apparently I have a house…Tanner, my partner he was the one on the phone. He said I have a house here. I guess I mentioned to him that I was going to take a look at it while I was here.” You told him, “Do I have a house?”

Barry nodded, “Yeah…you do. I go past it nearly everyday. No one’s been in there since your aunt passed away.”

You frowned, “Do I have any family?”

“I’m not sure.” You looked away from him, “I can find out, but from what I knew you didn’t…”

You sat there and looked at your hands. In a matter of minutes you had a house and lost your entire family. You blinked a few times…

_“Rigs come on!” You pushed on the man’s chest in the dark, “Come on!”_

_“Commander, he’s gone!” Some told you as you pulled away hands covered in the blood of your brother._

_Rain dripped down your back washing the red from your hands. Yelling could be heard from the other side of the house. You couldn’t waste anymore time trying to save a dead man, you had the others to think about…_

You felt a hand fall on your shoulder. You reacted by throwing them to the ground knee to their chest hand on their throat. 

“Y/N…” Barry put a hand on yours eyes going wide. He watched your eyes come back from wherever you were as terror set in.

You pulled away scooting on the floor, “Barry…Oh my god…”

He sat up putting a hand to his throat, “It’s okay…you’re alright…the doctors said this might happen.”

“I could’ve killed you.” You teared up pulling your knees to your chest.

He crawled over to you putting his hands gently on your arms, “Y/N, whatever you saw…it’s okay…you where in the Navy…and then you went further and went into private contracting work…it put you in compromising situations.”

“I left him…I couldn’t save him…” You felt the tears falling down your face, “He had family and I couldn’t bring him back to them…”

His heart broke for you as you buried your head into your arms. He knew the feeling of not being able to save everyone. It hurt. It sucked. He couldn’t imagine suddenly just having the feeling come from no where. 

He moved next you putting his arm around you, “Whatever you need, I am here. You just have to ask and it’s yours.”

He lost track of how long you sat there with him until you fell asleep. He smiled pushing your hair from your face. You were so beautiful to him. You always had been. He remembered exactly what you were wearing when you asked for help with statistics.

He liked you then…and he was falling for you now…

After putting you to bed he called Caitlin, “She’s been having flashbacks…They’re really intense, is that normal?”

“It’s not uncommon for a person with transient global amnesia to begin to remember. Many cases only last a few hours…” Caitlin told him, “Since the cases are so few and far in between it’s really hard to say how people react when regaining their memories. It can be very jarring.”

“Is there anything we can do to help her?” Barry put his hand on the back of his head, “I know we shouldn’t rush things…but she’s remember things that I think will hurt her. She just had a flashback to trying to save a man in the field…he didn’t make it.”

She sighed, “I’ll talk to Cisco and see what we can figure out, but no promises Barry.”

“Thank you…I got to go, someone’s here…” Barry made a face at the someone knocking at the door. He moved hanging up this phone and answered it.

“Is…Y/N, here?” It was a very attractive man dressed in a suit. His eyes scanned the interior of the house from outside the door.

“She’s resting. She wasn’t feeling well…” Barry got a strange vibe from him.

“Right…I’m Tanner. I was her partner.” He smiled at Barry, “I just came to drop off her things.”

“Oh, well let me help you bring them inside.” Barry moved to come out.

“Actually…the car is her’s too…” He held out the keys, “I had someone follow me and we’re on a schedule…so I’m sorry to leave you with the heavy lifting.”

Barry took the keys and looked at the very nice looking car on the street, “Uh, thanks…I’ll let her know you stopped by.”

“Tell her if she needs anything to call. She’s still my partner, even if she’s off the job for a while.” He told him stepping of the porch.

“Will do.” Barry watched him get into a black SUV frowning. There was something about him that gave him the willys. He shook it off going back inside. He wanted to make you and Joe something for dinner and he only had a couple of hours to do it.


	6. Break Part - 6

Joe came home from a long night trying to be quiet. He didn’t need to be waking anyone up at two in the morning. 

He crept as quietly as he could to the stairs, but stopped when he heard a noise. Instinctively he pulled out his gun walking toward the noise in back of the house. He turned the corner into the dining room and sighed lowering his gun, “Y/N…”

“Sorry…” You looked at him sitting down at the table, “I was trying to be quiet.”

“It’s okay…I just got home.” He sighed walking toward you, “Still having trouble sleeping.”

You sighed nodding. You’d been there for a few days and the memories were coming back more quickly, “It’s just hard to know what happened first…and where I was…it happens a lot when I go to sleep.” 

He nodded walking toward you, “You know if you need anything I’m here. I’ve got a couple buddies who served if want to talk to them. They volunteer at the VA hospital and work with PTSD patients.”

You nodded, “I know…what I see isn’t what scares me…it’s the fact that it mostly doesn’t effect me at all.”

Joe sighed, “Y/N…you were a Commander in the Navy. You served your country and then you went into contract work. Both are not…easy jobs. You get trained to prioritize.”

“I know that too.” You looked at him holding onto the coffee you’d made yourself like a life line, “What worries me is that there aren’t very many enjoyable memories. There’s only a handful and it makes me wonder if my life was even worth it…”

“You listen to me.” He leaned down to you, “It is always worth it. Hard and sometimes rough, but worth it.” 

You smiled tearing up, “You wanna know what the one memory that keeps coming back everyday?”

He sat down loosening his tie smiling, “Yes I do.”

You looked at him sniffing the tears away, “Barry. That man is so…bright in a world full of dark.”

Joe smiled listening to you speak, “It’s recent. We were at the police station and we’re talking…and there is this feeling that wells up in my chest, like an overflowing well. He gets that smile…”

“That genuine one, I know which one you’re talking about.” Joe nodded at you.

“Yeah…I said something about meeting up later and he goes to leave. He bumped into the door as he went that grin still on his face.” You looked at him, “I don’t know if want to remember someone who doesn’t have more memories like that.”

“In your defense…”

“No…no more of that.” You leaned forward at him, “You all know what pivotal moment took me from Central City and I am tired of sifting through all of the memories…Please tell me what happened.”

Joe took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out slowly. He sat there staring at you for a long time before he spoke slowly, “Your parents were murdered, you didn’t adjust well. You tested out of school early and joined the military.”

You leaned back in your seat slowly, “What about my aunt?”

“Her idea of coping with her sister’s death was a bottle of Merlot a day.” He told you shaking his head, “I tried checking in with you, for Barry’s sake. You two were sorta thing…”

“Yeah I got that…” You frowned crossing your arms over your chest, “So I just left…I didn’t deal…I just…”

“You were going through a lot. More then anyone at that age should go through.” Joe reached over putting a hand on yours, “Just remember your past doesn’t control you. It’s what you do now…what you choose to do now that matters.”

You nodded sighing, “Thanks Joe…”

He stared at you for a moment before patting your hand gently, “You should try and get some sleep, aren’t you and Barry going to the Lab tomorrow?”

“Yeah…I guess his friends wanted to try something to make my returning memories less scrambled and more in order.” You watched him stand up, “I’m not sure I want to go.”

He smiled at you, “Y/N, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you need reminding of that I’d be happy to let you know.”

You smiled at him, “I’ll take you up on that.”

“Try to get some rest.” He told you before turning away from you.

“Hey Joe?” He stopped and looked at you, “Where does Barry go all the time? I know he works for the CCPD, but it seems like he just randomly vanishes…”

You saw his eye flicker for a moment searching for an answer, “We keep him busy.”

“Right, of course.” You said goodnight again and remained seated in the dining room. You liked Barry and had felt that you two were getting closer, but the last few days he’d been vanishing. Then he didn’t come home tonight.

You shook it off and walked into the kitchen dumping the coffee out and rinsed out the cup. There was something there though…something that Barry was keeping from you. You shook your head, you just kept seeing red.

The next morning you walked out dressed and ready for the day. Barry was already up and in the kitchen. 

He smiled at you and held up a plate and a cup of coffee, “I made breakfast.”

“You…made breakfast.” You smiled at him taking the plate and cup staring at the eggs and toast, “Thank you.”

“I just wanted to make sure everything went good today.” He smiled and sat down with you, “Starting off with a good breakfast…”

“…listen Barry…about seeing your friends today…” You looked at him.

“I know it’s scary, but they want to help and what Caitlin and Felicity have talked about…I think it'll work.” You listened to the excitement in his voice and smiled, “and Dr. Wells thinks it might work too, so you know it’s got to be a good idea.”

“I guess so.” You nodded. How could you resist that face? He was so hopeful and wanted to help so much. Soon you were on the way to the lab.

“Your car is really nice.” Barry said getting out, “The heated seats really make a difference.” 

“Sure.” You walked over toward him tilting your head slightly, “I trust that you wouldn’t lie to me.”

He stared at you for a moment before nodding. Again, he was holding something back, but you weren’t going to push it. He walked you inside showing you around as you went, “And this is where they patched me up.”

“Wow. They spared no expense.” You told him looking around the cortex, "I can't blame them but I'm biased..."

“Barry…” You looked over at a man in a wheelchair, “This must be your friend, Y/N.”

“Dr. Wells…” Barry smiled putting a hand on your back, “This is Y/N. Y/N, this is Dr. Harrison Wells.”

He rolled over to you holding out his hand to you a small smile on his face, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Thank you for your help.” You took his hands shaking his slowly.

“A friend of Barry, is a friend ours.” He turned from you, “Barry, how are you feeling?”

You looked at Barry shift uneasily, “I’m alright.”

“Good, Caitlin has everything set up over here.” Dr. Wells told you both.

“I must be interrupting…” You turned seeing a blonde woman walking in, “Sorry, I forgot my tablet. Kind of need it for...nightly activities.”

“Felicity…I could have…ran it over.” Barry smirked at her.

“Oh we weren’t too far, and Oliver didn’t mind.” She looked over her shoulder at a man walking in slowly.

You looked at him staring at you. His mouth fell open slightly as his emotions welled up in his eyes, “Y/N…I didn’t realize you were the same person. I hear you’re having trouble remembering…I’m…”

Barry looked over at you as you answered quietly, “Oliver Queen…”


	7. Break Part - 7

You stared at the handsome man before you for a moment longer before you walked forward grabbing him by the hand pulling him with you. You could feel the tension in his hand, you had taken him off guard, “Y/N?”

You stopped away from the other’s ears and looked at him, “How do I know you? How out of all the people around me can I remember your name immediately but…not theirs?”

Oliver shifted on his feet and looked at you with uncertainty, “Are you sure…you want to do this? That you want to remember these things.”

“Please…Oliver…” You looked at him, “I need you to not lie to me.”

He made a face and you knew he was going to tell you what you needed to know, “Fine…but not right now. I’ll make arrangements to stay an extra couple of days. I promise we will talk.”

You sighed putting your hands on the back of your head lacing the fingers, “These last few days I have been so difficult…I just want to know who I am.”

“Hey…” You looked at him as he smiled a little, “You are a good woman. I promise you that.”

“How do you know?” You watched him sigh, “Please…”

He raised his hands reaching towards you slowly pushing your shirt down revealing a scar above your collar bone, “You took a bullet for me, when you weren’t sure about me still…you put your trust in me and let me do what I needed to do…You saved my life.”

You looked where he pointed and nodded slowly, “Okay…later then.”

He nodded putting his hand on your shoulder, “I don’t let my friends hang in the wind…You trusted me then and you can now. You can always.”

You walked back to the cortex with him. You looked over at Barry talking to Dr. Wells. His eye brows were together and his hands crossed over his chest. He was listening to the doctor. You got the sense it was about you when Barry finally looked up concern written on his face.

You swallowed glancing at Oliver who was talking to Felicity. You were on your own. Dr. Wells nodded at you as you passed him walking into his office. You sighed crossing your arms looking at Barry, “Sorry…for just…”

“No it’s okay…You remember someone.” He put on a smile obviously strained, “That’s a good thing…I just never thought you would know Oliver Queen.”

“I remember his name…but I don’t remember what happened between us.” You shut your eyes, “Barry…I’m don’t want to do this…”

“Do what?” You heard the worry in his voice and couldn’t help but smile a little. He was worried about the two of you.

You stepped up to him and looked in his eyes, “I don’t want to do this test…I’m afraid who I might become.”

“Afraid of remembering who you are?” He looked at you frowning.

“Afraid of who I might become…” You took his hands in yours, “Yeah…I can’t remember us in high school…or the tour that you gave me when I realized that I never got over you…”

He smiled as you went on, “But I like where I’m at. I like who I’m with.”

“You…remember me giving you a tour?” He had that goofy grin on his face when he was happy.

You hadn’t realize that you did. You smiled a little, “Yeah I guess I do.”

“And that you…never got over me.” Now his eyes were twinkling.

“That…too.” You smirked as you found him leaning toward you. Your eyes shut when his lips found yours. His kisses were like fire leaving your in a fever when he pulled away.

He smiled staring at your flushing face, “I should tell Caitlin and Cisco that we’re not doing the test.”

“Yeah…yeah I need to talk to Oliver real quick.” You told him feeling his hand move around your waist as he walked around you.

“I heard my name…” Oliver smiled at Barry as he left you two alone, “I wanted to set up a meeting…” He watched your face and took a breath in from your nose, “But…you don’t look like you want to meet anymore.”

“I am going through a whirlwind…” You sighed crossing your arms again, “I am not sure what I want…I like who I am right now, but there a moments that I can’t figure out..that I want to understand…”

Oliver nodded, “I understand. Just know that I’m here for you if you need anything. I would work with you any time.”

“Work?” You raised an eyebrow, “You did contracting?”

“No…” He smiled his eyes holding a secret, “Until you’re ready or you remember, I will keep my work to myself.”

You smiled as he turned away from you, “I trust you Oliver Queen…why is that?”

He stopped and looked at you…

Three years ago…Starling City

Oliver walked down the stairs of the mansion after his sister Thea came to get him. He saw you standing in the foyer a folder in your hand. He took a deep breath hearing Thea behind him, “I’m Oliver Queen…and you are?”

You looked up and smiled at him, “My name is Y/N L/N, I work for a private contractor here in Starling City. I’ve been hired to look into the vigilante. To do so I like to go back to the beginning. You and a Thomas Merlin were the first to see him. Well according to the report you saw him…”

“Yes…if you have the report why do you need to speak with me?” He crossed his arms defensively.

“I like to do my own investigation, Mr. Queen.” You smiled at him glancing around the room, “You see I tend to see things a lot of people don’t. My unit used to call me ‘Hound’, I sniff until I find what I’m looking for.”

“Well, I guess if it means catching a crazy man…I’ll do what I can.” He smiled leading you to the sitting room, “Can we get you anything to drink?”

“I’m fine…I’d rather just begin.” You stared him down, “What I find interesting Mr. Queen, is that this vigilante appeared damn near close to the time that you came home.”

“You’ll see that Detective Lance of the SCPD thought that too…but I was found not to be the vigilante.” He smirked a little, “I was here.”

“Yes and it seems you had a rough night. You got attacked.” He nodded as you glanced at your folder, “You know I was a Commander in the Navy too, Mr. Queen. I worked closely with a few Seal teams and they taught me how to be in two places at once.”

You heard his sister laugh, “Are you seriously accusing my brother of being the vigilante? Again?”

“Oh I’m not accusing your brother of anything, ma’am.” You kept your eyes on Oliver, “I am simply looking for the truth and I can see that Oliver Queen is holding a lot back. I will make you a deal…I promise not to lie to you, if you don’t lie to me.”

He could feel his jaw clenching as you stood pulling out a card from your pocket, “I see I struck a nerve. That’s fine. May I contact you further? Right now I’m just getting a preliminary movement map. I might want to know how he acted at the moment he saved you.” 

“Of course.” Oliver took the card looking at your name neatly printed on it.

“Thank you. I appreciate your cooperation, Mr. Queen.” You held out your hand to shake his.

He stood up taking your hand giving you a firm grip, “Please, call me Oliver.”

You smiled at him letting his hand go, “I’ll see you later, Mr. Queen.”

He watched you walk out of the room and Thea walked up to him, “She’s cute. Kind of a bitch though…”

“She’s not my type…” Oliver spoke quickly and looked at her, “Speedy, I have to run to club to…check somethings out. I’ll see you later.”

Present

Oliver smiled, “We…promised not to lie to one another.”

“That’s a good promise.” You stepped out, “Do you practice that with all your friends?”

Oliver glanced over at Felicity then back to you, “You sniff too much.”


	8. Break Part - 8

Barry skidded to a halt at the same place he met Oliver earlier in the week. After seeing how he reacted to your presence earlier, Barry was eager to hear what Oliver wanted to talk about.

“Barry…” Oliver stepped out of the shadows, “Thank you for meeting me.”

“You said it was important and about Y/N.” Barry looked at him, “But why couldn’t we talk at my house or the lab. It’s not like we need to be secretive around everyone now.”

“I didn’t want Y/N to overhear…” Oliver told him, “She has a knack for overhearing things she shouldn’t.”

“How do you know her?” Barry shoved his hands into his jacket pocket obviously jealous.

“Don’t worry Barry, nothing like that happened between us.” Oliver smirked, “I’m not her type…I’m dark and broody…you’re…heroic…”

Barry smiled a little, “I won’t lie…it does make me feel better knowing that.”

“I figured it would.” He smiled at him a little before pulling out a folder from behind his back, “But…discussing your dating life isn’t why I’m here.”

Barry took the folder from him when Oliver offered it to him, “What is this?”

Oliver took a deep breath, “I met Y/N, when I was just starting out as the Arrow…It was just after I had been arrested for being the Arrow and found not …guilty of that particular accusation. She was hired to re-investigate the vigilante with her particular skills.”

“Okay…and is this…her skill set?” Barry started to open the folder, but stopped when Oliver’s finger pressed against it’s front. Barry looked up at him.

“This…is her past Barry…” Oliver frowned, “This is everything I found out on her then and it’s not pretty…”

Barry frowned shaking his head, “She was in the military…she followed orders…”

“Yes…that is in there…” Oliver nodded, “But after that…when she could choose her own assignments…I’m giving this to you for two reasons Barry, one so that if Y/N chooses to look back, you can help her.”

“And the other reason?” Barry held the folder in his hands carefully, it suddenly felt very heavy.

Oliver sighed staring at him, “To protect you.”

“Protect me?” Barry said surprised.

“Yes…Y/N, is a good person Barry, but she is dangerous.” Oliver told him, “I’ve had first hand experience and I just…I wouldn’t feel right without giving her and you all of the information. So look at it or don’t…it’s up to the both of you now.”

Barry looked at the folder, “…thank you…I think…”

“Felicity and I are leaving on the next train.” Oliver told him flexing his hands, “If you or Y/N need anything please don’t hesitate to call.”

He nodded and watched Oliver walk toward an approaching car. He looked back at the folder his mouth going dry as his thumb grazed over the edge of the folder.

Finally he tucked it away and took off for home. He walked into the house slowly hearing you and Joe talking in the living room. Joe sounded tired as he spouted off stuff about work.

You looked over at him and smiled, “You’re back.”

“Yeah…” He forced a smile feeling the weight of the folder against his chest.

You stared at him your eyes coming together, “Barry, what’s wrong?”

“Can I talk to you?” He shrugged his shoulder back leaning back on his heels.

“Barry…” Joe stood up looking at him, “You have that tone…”

“I just need to talk to Y/N…it’s important.” He looked at the both of you, “Please…”

You looked at Joe and stood up walking over to Barry following him out to the porch, “Barry…”

“Oliver, gave me a file on you.” He spat out quickly, “I didn’t look at it…but I have it…he said he wouldn’t feel right about just leaving and not giving us the option to see what you were.”

You watched him pull out a folder. You took a deep breath taking a step back, “Why? I told him I didn’t…”

Barry frowned, “He said you were dangerous…”

Your eyes went to his. He could see the indecision in your eyes, “…I don’t…want it…”

“Y/N, I think you should think on this…” Barry told you, “We shouldn’t just toss this out…we may not get all this information again.”

“Fine…you keep it…you read it…do what you want…” You told him brushing past him going for the door, “I don’t want it…”

Barry grabbed your arm gently, “Y/N, wait…”

“What? What do you want from me?” You looked at him tears welling up in your eyes, “Do you want me to tell you how I remember killing a man? Do you want to know how I couldn’t save Evans? That I watched his blood pool up over my hands and watch the lights drain from his eyes.”

He listened as you stared at him, “Or how I desperately want to keep you safe…that’s why I did everything that I did…it’s why I left home…I wanted to keep you safe and keep all the bad things away…that it’s why I never came back…”

“Y/N…” He looked down at the folder.

You looked at it in his hands and sighed, “I don’t need a folder to tell me what I was…I’m remembering…fragments…but it’s enough that I don’t want you to know what I was…so please Barry…throw it away…I don’t want to go back to that life.”

Barry looked at you finally dropping the folder onto the ground letting his hands find your face. His kiss was fierce leaving you stunned for a moment.

As his one armed wrapped around your waist pulling you gently closer to him as you melted further into his lips. Missed chances and opportunities drifted into your mind. All those afternoon study sessions where you hoped this would happen.

He pulled away a breath away from your lips, “I should be the one protecting you…not the other way around…”

You swallowed licking your lips as his forehead fell against yours. You didn’t know what to tell him. There was no response that would suffice.

“I’m not going to throw it away… And I’m not going to look at it.” He looked into your eyes, “…but I’ll put it someplace safe, away from you and I.”

You smiled a little putting a hand over his as his thumb circled against your jaw, “Thank you Barry…”

He smiled and leaned forward kissing you again. It was softer this time less eager this time, there was still a spark, “I could do that all day…”

“I’d let you too…if it wasn’t so chilly out.” You smirked turning for the door, “Joe, made pasta. I think it’s done, we shouldn’t let him worry.”

“Right…I’ll be right in.” He told you leaning down scooping up the folder. As soon as you were inside he flashed over to the lab, “Dr. Wells?”

Wells rolled out of his office, “Barry?”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late. I have a favor to ask.” Barry stood in front of him holding the folder.

“Of course, what’s wrong?” He looked at Barry with concern.

“Oh nothings wrong…I just…” Barry looked at the folder, “I need this to be put in a safe place…I was hoping you’d lock in one of the vaults.”

Wells took the folder gently from Barry, “A strange request…what is it?”

“…It’s Y/N’s past…” Barry told him, “I haven’t looked at it, and she wants nothing to do with it…”

Wells looked at the folder surprised, “I see…I will put it away promptly.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wells…” Barry smiled, “I really appreciate it. I would stay but…”

“Go. I’ll be fine.” He smiled watching him speed away, “I have some reading to do…”


	9. Break Part - 9

You sat outside the station in your car letting your fingers drum against the steering wheel. Since seeing Oliver memories had been resurfacing daily. They made you jumpy and on edge. Barry helped in every way that he could. Consoling you when you had nightmares, bringing you back from flashbacks, you would never be able to express how grateful you were to him.

So picking him up from work would have to do until you could manage something more. You glanced at the dash clock sighing, “…always late…”

Your eyes began to move back to stare at the station. Before they landed on it they caught a glimmer in the rear view mirror. Your eyes narrowed staring at the images reflecting in it.

“Hey…” You were brought back as Barry opened the door. He smiled at you sitting down, “Sorry I’m late…I had to finish up some paperwork…is everything okay?”

You looked at him glancing back in the mirror, “Yeah…sorry…I kind of have a headache.”

He frowned, “You really shouldn’t be driving…”

“I know…lets just get home. I want to talk to you about something when we get there.” You told him.

“Uh…this sounds serious.” He buckled up looking at you as you pulled out into traffic.

You smiled a little, “It’s not bad…in fact I think it’s really good, but I’d rather talk about it over dinner…maybe with some wine.”

He smirked, “Wine?”

“I…have had a craving for a Merlot and I went to the store and found it.” You told him, “I thought we could enjoy it together.”

“Wow…and you said dinner is involved…” His smirk only got more adorable as his eyebrows rose up above his twinkling eyes, “This is something special.”

“I can take it all back.” You joked glancing in the mirror your smile starting to fall as you took a right.

“No…no…For once Joe is working late. We have the house to ourselves for a few hours.” You heard him say as your eyes stayed on the mirror turning right again, “Uh…Y/N…”

“I know…just…give me a minute.” You told him in a hushed breath turning left. The black sedan two car lengths behind your followed you for the third time, “Shit…”

“What?” His smile fell from his face as he glanced back, “What’s going on?”

“I think we’re being followed.” You told him as you gripped the steering wheel thinking, “I don’t just think…I know we’re being followed.”

“Why?” He looked back to you finally, “Why would someone be following us?”

You could hear a strain in his voice and noticed that his hands seemed to move in nervous motions, “I’ve been in a situation like this before…in Kuwait. Just hold on, once they know we know…it’s going to get ugly.”

“When you say…ugly…” He felt the car take off with a roar as you turned down a corner sharply horns going off behind you. He winced as you dodged in and out of traffic, “Uh…you should…uh…”

“Just shut your eyes…I’m really sorry, Barry…” You glanced back seeing the SUV right with you, “Dammit…”

He didn’t know why he was getting freaked out. He’d gone faster running, but having your life in someone else’s hands was different, “We should call Joe.”

“No…” You cut a corner again gunning it gaining some ground, “We need to get off the street, we have to…to find a garage or something. Once we’re behind a closed door we’ll be okay.” 

“What?” He looked at you again, “That makes no sense.”

“It’s complicated, Barry…” You kept your eyes on the road, “I’ll explain later just trust me. Look for something like that.”

He shook his head glancing around then a thought occurred to him, “The lab.”

“What?” You ran a red light buying you a little more time seeing the SUV have to dodge a few cars.

“The lab, STAR labs has a garage for equipment and their vehicles.” Barry looked at you.

“You’re sure?” You asked shortness in your tone.

“Yes.” He nodded digging in his pocket for his phone, “Yes I’m sure, I’ll get Cisco to open the door.”

“Good…this is good. What’s the quickest way there?” You glanced back seeing the SUV gaining ground again. You cursed dodging around the left hand lane car and turned right. Your tires screeched under the pressure of the turn.

“Hello? Barry! HELLO!?” Barry could hear Cisco yelling through the phone that he held planted against the ceiling as he held him self in place as the car jerked, “Barry!”

“Cisco…” Barry put the phone to his ear, “I need you to open the garage doors now.”

Glass shattered in the back seat making you both duck down for a moment. You glanced back cursing more and looked back forward. Your heart lurched forward as you saw a car in front of you. Your eyes got big as the sound of your heart beat filling your ears. You had two options…hit the car…or flip your car…


	10. Break Part -10

Both could get you killed…but option two would save more people. You only had a moment to react, “I’m sorry…”

You could hear Barry saying something as pulled the parking break jerking the wheel violently sending the car rolling. Shutting your eyes tightly you braced for impact.

You seemed to be floating. Maybe you had already hit your head…maybe you were dying again…

_“I need you to do something for me…”_

_“What are you doing Mr. Allen?”_

_“Stop…just…stop. I’m here…”_

_“What should I be doing Mrs. Allen?”_

Your eyes snapped open. You were taking in the view of the lab as your heart raced. You turned slowly and looked over a Barry behind you.

His face was filled with worry as he stepped toward you, “Y/N, I can explain everything…”

“You’re the Flash…” You stared at him blankly, “…you just saved our lives…”

“…Yes.” He stopped trying to gauge your reaction, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you …you had just found out and I panicked. I didn’t want to freak you out more… and the car chase threw me. I’m not used of being saved…of being protected…I didn’t think I could just-mmph…”

You cut him off kissing him holding onto his coat. You didn’t care that he was the Flash. You cared that his hands waved around shocked as they found their way to face as he fell into the kiss further.

You heard a cough behind you and pulled away biting your lips together looking at a breathless Barry. He swallowed and looked over at Cisco behind you, “I take it I don’t have to open the garage door anymore.”

“No…Cisco…you don’t have to open the door…” Barry said irritated for a moment taking in deep breath, “But…we need to make sure everything is okay…” 

His eyes met yours. There was still so much concern in them, “I…”

“Go.” You told him, “It’ll…give me time to process.”

He nodded and like his name he was out of the room. You shut your eyes tightly pinching the bridge of your nose.. A headache was setting in.

Cisco walked over slowly, “Are you okay?”

“No…” You shook your head and looked at him finally, “You…are good with computers right?”

“Yeah…why?” He nodded slowly.

“I need you to look up some thing, while I make a call.” You told him, “Do you have access to the cities cameras.”

“Do I have access…” He laughed walking toward his computer, “Is the sky blue?”

You glanced at him as he pulled up the cameras, “We were at the station about 20 mins ago…start there. We’re looking for a black SUV.”

“Okay, let me work some magic.” He started pulling up cameras, “So…what happened?”

“Someone was following me…I think I might know who.” You squinted rubbing your temple as a sharp pain built up behind your eye, “I just…I have to make sure.”

He glanced at you, “Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re in a lot of pain.”

“I’ll deal with it later…this takes precedent.” You moved your hand watching the screen carefully. Finally you saw it and pointed, “There…that one. Follow it and enhance the image. I need to see the driver.”

“Yeah…let me get a better angle.” He worked his magic tracing the car back to a position he could see the driver more clearly. He zoomed in and processed the image making it clear, “Three…two…one…”

You stared at the man your cheek twitching, “Thank you Cisco…”

“Yeah no problem…wait…” He turned to you spinning in his chair quickly as you walked toward the hall, “Where are you going?”

“I have to take care of something…” You looked at him, “I’ll be back…just…tell Barry I’ll call him.”

“Wha…no…” He shook his head, “You can’t just leave me…”

You didn’t answer his pleas as you walked toward the elevator pulling out your phone. You dialed the number from memory and put it up to your ear as you turned the corner. You stopped when you saw Dr. Wells in front of the elevator doors. 

“Dr. Wells…” You stared at him putting the phone down, “excuse me…”

He looked at you a small smile moved to his face, “You remember don’t you?”

“…It’s coming back yes…If you’ll excu-”

“It’s important for Barry, to remain focused on his health and his speed. It wouldn’t be helpful if what followed you…would hurt him.” His face became serious.

You didn’t like his tone, “You don’t have to worry…I intend to take care of it.”

“Good.” He said dryly as he pushed his chair forward, “I trust the ‘Hound’ will catch it’s prey.”

You took a deep breath and got on the elevator dialing again. It rang a few times, “Oliver…it’s me…yeah…I need favor.”


	11. Break Part -11

Barry came back a while later looking around the lab. He pulled back his mask, “Y/N?”

“She’s…” Barry turned to Cisco walking out of an office, “not here…”

“Where is she?”

Cisco frowned, “She said she’s going to take care of something…she didn’t say what. She also said she would call you.”

Barry shook his head turning to go find his phone, “That…doesn’t make sense…”

“Barry…” Cisco frowned grabbing his tablet from his desk, “She left after seeing this guy.”

Barry looked at him and took the tablet. His mouth dropped open slightly, “Oh no…”

“What? Do you know him?” Cisco’s eyes lit up

“This is Y/N’s partner.” Barry looked at him, “Uh…he stopped by the house with all over he stuff, uh…Tanner.”

“Her partner…why would he be following you?” Cisco took the tablet back.

“I don’t know…” Barry told him, “I have to see if she called…”

Cisco frowned looking back at the picture, “Why would you follow someone you worked with?”

“What’s that?” Cisco looked over at Dr. Wells coming into the lab.

Cisco smiled, “Sorry, Dr. Wells…I was just talking out loud again.”

“You had a very serious expression.” He stopped in front of Cisco, “It must be a serious problem, can I help?”

“It’s just Y/N.” Cisco looked at him, “You know what happened I told you…but this guy that was following her an Barry, it’s her partner. Why would he shoot at them?”

“She’s not answering.” Barry came back out in his street clothes redialing, “Come on…”

“Barry, I’m sure she’s just processing…” Wells looked at him dialing for a third time, “But…I can see you’re not going to just let her be. Cisco, pull up her last location her phone pinged.”

Barry looked over as they both began working on pulling up information on your whereabouts, “Y/N, call me…Please…please don’t do anything drastic…”

“Got it.” Cisco looked at Barry, “It pinged here…she must’ve turned it off before she left.”

Barry shut his eyes making a face as he put his hands on his on the back of his head. Wells looked at him, “Barry, we’ll find her.”

You sighed chewing your lower lip waiting in the park. You stared at the burner phone in your hand trying to will it to ring. You knew you should call Barry, but then he would race over and try to help.

You couldn’t let him get involved, at least not without having all the information. You were leaning toward not at all though. Oliver on the other hand…

The phones ringer was loud to your ears as it went off, “Speak…”

“Rude.” You smiled at Felicity’s voice, “Which…after being shot at I’m sure is completely justified.”

“Hi Felicity…how are you?” You spoke slowly.

“I’m good!” You loved that she was so cheery, “But you’re being kind…thank you…everyone here so serious all the time. But you don’t want to hear about that…”

“Maybe later…but right now I want to know why my former partner was trying to shoot me.” You sat there on the bench staring at children playing, “I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach…when I saw his face it happened. He did something.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Felicity told you, “Oliver had me dig up everything I could. Your buddy was a good officer, former marine, did three tours. Afterwards like you he joined the private sector. This is when things get…dicey.”

“Dicey?” You frowned leaning forward.

“Yeah…there’s a lot here. Is there anyway for you to get access to a computer?” 

“…How about I come visit?” You stood up, “I…should get out of town for a few days. It would be better…”

“…Okay…” Felicity paused, “Or are you trying to protect, Barry?”

“Barry, can take care of himself. I think you know that.” You told her as you began to walk.

“Yeah, but Barry is sweet and wants to protect everyone.” Felicity spoke quickly, “He likes you…maybe more.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, “…I need to finish this…for him. I don’t want to live looking over my shoulder and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“You love him.” Having her say it out loud shook you. You stopped standing in the middle of the sidewalk, “Y/N?”

“Yeah, I do.” You whispered, “Felicity, I’ll be in touch. Keep digging please.”

“Will do, Felicity out.”

You swallowed looking up at the sky wiping a tear away. You cleared your throat and called Barry.

“Barry Allen…” He sounded so worried.

“Barry.” You took a deep breath.

“Y/N…where are you? Are you okay?” He looked over to Cisco and Wells. They nodded moving to see if they could get your location.

“I’m okay…Listen…I have to go away for a bit.” Your voice cracked, “I’m not sure for how long.”

“Y/N, please don’t run away again.” He pleaded with you, “I want to help you. Let me protect you.”

“Barry…” You shut your eyes, “Tanner, is a very bad man with unlimited resources. He’s after me…”

“You don’t know that. We’ve had run ins with the military…”

“Stop.” You hardened your face changing your tone, “Just stop…I’ve made up my mind.”

“Why are you doing this?” You put your hand to your mouth trying to soften the small sob that came to you.

You couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t know if you would actually be coming back, “Because… I have unfinished business and you’ll get in the way.”

“Y/N…”

“I have to go…I’ll call you.” You hung up quickly and began moving. You ditched the phone just in case they caught the trail. They were smart after all.

Barry looked over at Cisco again, “Anything?”

“I couldn’t get it…she cut off too soon.” Cisco looked over to Wells.

“I’m sorry, Barry.” Wells stared at the young man obviously in pain, “Maybe it’s for the better. Let her finish her business.”

Barry looked down to his phone, “She’s hurting…I could hear it. She was trying to hide it, but she was crying…”

“Barry,” Wells took a deep breath and sighed, “when she wants help, she knows where she can come.”

Barry nodded, “I’m…I need some air…”

Wells shook his head watching Barry walk out of the room, “That woman has done a number on him.”

“Women usually do.” Cisco looked at him, “I’m going to keep looking…maybe I’ll find something and we can help her.”

“If she wanted us to help…she would’ve left a trail, Mr. Ramon.” Wells sighed backing up from the desk, “No, I think we’ll be waiting. Until then, we’ll be picking up the broken pieces.”


	12. Break Part - 12

Oliver sat in the base with his eyes closed. He knew the ultimatum The League of Assassins gave was going to be rough…he never anticipated having to leave everything he cared for though…

“Oliver…” His eyes snapped open and he turned looking over at you. You smiled at him waving slightly, “You should really change your passwords…”

“We did…” He smiled, “What you doing here? Didn’t Felicity call you?”

“She did.” You walked toward him, “But…I needed to get away for a minute…lay low until I can sniff out my prey.”

Oliver stood up looking at down at you, “Y/N…we agreed to never to lie to one another.”

“If I recall I had to get into a few fights and take a bullet for you, for you to finally agree to that.” You smirked at him as he rolled his eyes, “But…you’re right…I need to distance myself from some loved ones…”

“Barry…” Oliver nodded.

“Does everyone know?” You sighed looking down to the ground.

“It is a little obvious.” Oliver smiled touching your arms making you look at him, “What can I do?”

“Your Felicity is a genius.” You smiled as his eyes twinkled, “And I owe you and her and your entire team…a lot. Especially since…I need weapons…specifically a rifle with a long range scope and a silencer.”

He tilted his head a little, “Y/N…”

“Oliver this man…betrayed his country, his team, and his partner for money…” You told him pulling out the flash drive, “He has no family…and would rather sell intelligence on the people he’s protecting and get paid twice…He saw me with Barry…knows where he lives and will use him and his family to get to me…he needs to be dealt with.”

Oliver frowned shutting his eyes, “Fine…but…I need something first. I’ve been contacted by the League of Assassins.”

“What?” Your eyes got wide, “…uh…not that I know about them…but seriously Oliver…”

“I see your memories are returning.” He sighed crossing his arms, “Let’s talk…maybe we can figure out a plan to take care of both of our problems.”  
Later that day you walked out of Oliver’s ‘Bat Cave’. You sighed staring up at the night sky. Oliver’s plan wasn’t a bad one. You would contact your job, tell them that you remembered something which would get Tanner onto your scent. Felicity had set up your phone to show your location near Nanda Parbat. Your plane was taking off in a few hours.

You would take care of your issue and in return you would be Oliver’s backup not backup. You sighed pulling out your phone, you had one more issue to handle first.

“…” You put the phone to your ear waiting as it rang. You secretly hoped it would go to voicemail. That he was out saving the world…

“Barry Allen…”

You cursed inside your head, “Barry.”

“…Are you okay?” He said after a moment of silence.

“I will be. Is everything okay over there?” You leaned against the wall shutting your eyes, “I saw the news…with Snart and Rory…”

“Yeah…everyone’s okay…” Barry sighed heavily making your heart drop, “Y/N…when are you coming home?”

You teared up and let out a long sigh, “That’s why I’m calling…”

“…You’re not coming home, are you?” He sounded so hurt, “I don’t get it…I can help you. We can help you. Cisco, can crack anything and we can trace Tanner down and get him.”

“It’s not that simple anymore…” You pushed off the wall hoping the momentum would give you more courage, “That’s why I don’t want your help, because you would try to stop me from doing what I have to do.”

“What you have to do?” He sounded confused, “Y/N, you don’t have to do anything…we…I…I just want you to come home.”

“Barry, I can’t.” You told him swallowing down the knot in your throat, “I just…I called to ask you to…not wait for me…I don’t know if I’m coming home…for once I don’t know what’s going to happen after the job.”

“Y/N…just tell me where you are.” He pleaded with you making everything so much harder, “I don’t want to lose you again…please…just tell me where you are.”

“Barry…” You put your hand to your mouth stifle the small sob, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”

“Y/N, just come home…”

“Goodbye Barry…” You hung up the phone leaning forward crying into your hands. After a moment you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked up and saw Oliver looking down at you.

“Come here…” He whispered pulling you into a strong embrace. He had heard the whole thing and knew how hard it was to do it. You wanted more than anything to keep Barry safe. He felt you shutter as tears fell from your face, “I’m sorry you had to do that…but you know pushing him away…”

“I know…” You cried into his shoulder, “It doesn’t hurt less…”

When you moved he gave you one last squeeze for reassurance, “Are you ready?”

You took a deep breath, “I’ll make the phone call on the way to the plane…”

Oliver nodded putting a hand on your back as you both walked toward the car he brought up, “It’ll be over soon…and hopefully we’ll both see our loved ones again.”

“…yeah…I just hope they’ll forgive us again…” You whispered as you got into the back of the car.


	13. Break Part - 13 (FINAL)

You rolled your neck feeling it crack before you put your hands back on the steering wheel. This was much harder then you wanted it to be, “Come on, Y/N, suck it up. Oliver and the crew need help.”

You stepped out of the car starring at Star Labs. You’d been gone for months tracking Tanner and helping Oliver. You did not like his plan. The League was much stronger then he knew and no matter how much you argued with him he insisted on ‘joining’ them and taking his place as the new Ra’s A Ghul.

Oliver was insistent as usual. Other than being there with no back up, the plan wasn’t awful. He had sent you a signal to get Barry’s help which meant that everyone finally at Nanda Parbat.

Which meant of course you had to grow a pair and collect on Barry’s debt to Oliver. You were pretty certain that Oliver had other intentions, but you were never sure when he was wearing the mask.

You walked in slowly seeing them stare at the screen that held a Harrison Wells. You knew what was going on. You weren’t fully in the game again yet, but you still had your tricks. You cleared your throat gaining their attention.

You raised your hands as Joe aimed his gun at you, “Detective West…hello…not a bad guy.”

Joe sighed lowering his gun, “Y/N…”

“Yeah…sorry.” You made a face lowering your hands, “I know you guys are on edge. I’m sorry.”

Joe came over and embraced you tightly catching you off guard, “I’m just happy it is a friendly face.”

“Oh come on…it hasn’t be that terrible.” You patted him on the back smiling.

“When you face off with a mind controlling gorilla you can say that.” He chuckled a little and looked at you following your gaze. He sighed watching Barry walk to the treadmill room, “You didn’t expect anything differently did you?”

“I anticipate more soon.” You told him putting your hands in your pockets as you moved past him nodding to Caitlin and Cisco.

You stepped into the room with Barry shutting the door. He was leaning against the treadmill taking in deep breaths, “Barry…I need to talk to you.”

“Now you want to talk.” When he looked at you it was like a dagger to the heart. His eyes were full of ice and you knew it was your fault.

“It’s Oliver.” You saw his expression change for a moment, “He needs your help. He’s coming for that favor.”

“Why can’t he ask me himself?” He turned to fully putting his hands on his hips.

“It’s complicated. Everyone is at Nanda Parbat…I have the coordinates. You’ll be breaking out Felicity and the crew if all goes as planned.” You told him holding out a flash drive.

“You’re not there.” His eyes narrowed swiping the device from your hand.

You took a deep breath letting your hand hang in the air a moment longer, “I was flying back…I had other business to take care of. Oliver got a hold of me and I redirected here.”

“What business?” He looked at you again.

“Barry…” You looked away from him.

“What business? Did it involve Tanner?” His voice wavered. He still believed in you. He still wanted you to be better then what you were.

You shut your eyes and put on a smiled, “Barry, please don’t ask that…”

“Why?” He stepped toward you finally.

Your eyes opened finally looking at him, “Because I will tell you and you won’t like what you’ll hear…Just know that you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

His mouth fell open slightly, “Y/N…”

“I told you before Barry, I want to protect you and I will do it.” You swallowed staring at him with intensity he’d never felt before, “I will always protect you.”

“Why? I know what that means…” He frowned, “I don’t want that for you. I never wanted that for you.”

“Barry, I know think you know what that means…”

“I read the folder, Y/N.” You looked at him surprised, “I shouldn’t have…it was wrong and invasion, but I was angry.”

You didn’t know what to say. That folder had your whole life story in it. Your parents were CIA before they settled down. That’s why they were killed, leaving you alone. You joined the military and advanced as quickly as you could until your tours were up. You had two goals in mind, find your parents killers and keep them from Central City.

Killing the man that killed your parents gave you no peace. It broke you, driving you to do dirty jobs. They called you ‘Hound’ because you really didn’t leave a job a lone once you caught wind of it. Then you started losing men and attending funerals. That was the shift. You began finding yourself again, realizing that you wanted to fight for something more…someone better.

“Barry…”

“I don’t want that life for you…” He stood there staring at you with those puppy eyes, “I have not stopped thinking of you. Worrying about you, knowing that you were out there doing something that chipped away at your further.”

You took a deep breath before you whispered, “You should go…it’s a long run.”

“Y/N…” He stepped up taking your hand in his, “Please be here when I get back.”

“Go…” You looked at him, “and be careful.”

He smiled a little. It seemed that no matter how angry one another was each other, you both cared too much. He pulled you to him kissing you. You mouth moved against his. You wondered if it was the only slow motion he knew because they felt like eternity.

He pulled away looking at you as he whispered, “Please stay.”

Before you could answer he raced away leaving you in the wind trial. You shut your eyes putting a hand to your mouth the heat still lingering. You wanted to stay, you weren’t sure if you could. Obligations had you elsewhere.

A few text later and you walked out tears running down your face. Cisco saw you first, “Y/N…”

“Tell Barry I’m sorry…” You kept walking quickly to escape your heart breaking with every step.

“Y/N…wait…” You heard Joe call after you, “If you leave…Y/N…stop!”

You punched the elevator button several times, “I don’t have a choice Joe…just tell him I’m sorry…”

“Y/N, there is always a choice.” He put his hand on your arm getting you to look at him, “I don’t know what it is with kids that makes you think you have to give up everything. You don’t.”

“Joe…” The elevator door opened, “I know what this means…and it’s killing me, but there’s a little girl out there and she is scared…and alone with some bad men…and you have no idea how much that I hate myself for going, but I have to. There is no choice for the good guys.”

You stepped onto the elevator, “Tell him I’m sorry…and I understand what this means…”

Joe looked at you as the door began to close, “Be careful.”

“You too.” You smiled as the door shut. Your eyes shut as the tears pooled down your face. It wasn’t fair, why did being good make you sacrifice everything you wanted.

You walked out into the night a helicopter was touching down near the lab. You put on that hardened smile that your men knew as you reached up taking their hands into the helicopter. You put on your helmet telling them to take off.

“Boss, you alright?” You looked over to the man across from you.

“Yeah Trusty…just the usual…” You smiled at him, “Life isn’t fair.”

“Never is boss, never is.” You heard him tell you as STAR Labs grew further and further from your view.

(I’m sensing sequel…)


End file.
